If we’re truly honest with ourselves, all have a little self-loathing going on every day. Alright, perhaps a lot of self-loathing continuing, depending upon the level of trauma you are going through. But don’t worry, here’s the good news, self-hatred is simply part of the human condition. There’s nothing inalienably “wrong” with you since you strongly abhorrence or feel embarrassed about certain unpalatable parts of yourself.
Self-loathing is that hidden inclination that we are simply not acceptable: not adequate, not great at this, not great at that, not great at – or for – quite a bit of anything. It tends to be unobtrusive, we may routinely contrast ourselves with others, for example, continually criticizing ourselves and putting ourselves down.
We all have dreams we’ve failed to live up to, ideals we’ve failed to embody mostly in universities, actions we wish we had or hadn’t done, ways in which we wish we could be different. This is normal. And we all must deal with these parts of ourselves that we don’t exactly like. It’s difficult to abstain from comparing yourself to others. We all do it from time to time — at work, at school, with companions, on social media. However, this demonstration of continually assessing how you measure up can badly affect your psychological wellbeing and your self-perception.
Before you know it, simply taking a gander at yourself in the mirror can trigger considerations of self-hatred and frustration. These emotions can be especially upsetting if you effectively live with a mental health condition, for example, anxiety or depression
Let it be clear that, there is no solitary reason for self-loathing. The human brain is too unpredictable but, we can make efforts to identify a portion of the things contribute to a less than rosy picture of oneself.
A few people may figure out how to loathe themselves fol after years of neglect as a child. They might be “educated” to have a low assessment of themselves because of the manner in which they are dealt with and spoken to.Similarly, emotional and psychological abuse as a grown-up can destroy a healthy self-image and lead to a distortion of one’s one’s beliefs and thoughts.
The Antidote: Self-Compassion
No, the solution is to merely minimize our self-hatred by first becoming aware of it, and then learning how to mould it and shape it and control it. The goal here is to manage our disappointments with ourselves so that they don’t end up managing us. You should try to turn self-hate into self-compassion.
For now, here are a few tips to get you started:
1) Expose the Hate
Generally, the things you hate most about yourself are the things you hide from the rest of the world. They are the things that you think, will cause of rejection and will hurt you.
But, these fears are often unfounded. Because often the things we hate about ourselves are exactly the same things every other person hates about themselves. Opening up to the worst features highlights of ourselves, and conceding and sharing them, brings about the best trust and closeness. That is, obviously, accepting that you’re willing as well as ready to forgive people and yourself.
2) Forgive People, Including Yourself
Forgiving means recognizing something sucks and still loving the person (or yourself) despite it. Recognize the good intentions or at least the ignorance behind most evil/bad/undesirable actions. For instance, most people don’t do bad shit because they’re evil, they do it because they don’t know better or they wrongly believe they’re justified. Often it helps to remember your own failures and ignorance when forgiving someone else for theirs.
3) Let Yourself Fail
Your self-love is not proportional to how you feel about your successes; your self-love is how you feel about your failures. A person who loves and cares for themselves does not have an overwhelming need to do everything right or perfect or correct the first time.
On the contrary, they’re more than willing to get dirty and mess up because they understand that this is where true growth and progress comes from.
4) Practice Positive Self-Talk
Self-hatred often comes in a moment when you don’t have empathy for yourself. If you have a period where you’re feeling better, try to write down the things, what you love about yourself.
If you can’t consider anything, don’t panic. Love is a strong emotion that is difficult to feel toward yourself in a depressed moment. If it’s easier, try to consider things you essentially like or don’t abhor about yourself. When the self-hatred contemplations come, stop, take a breath, and say out loud one of the items from your list.
5) Speak to a Therapist
Exploring the origins of your self-hatred can be extremely difficult, and for many of us, doing so under the care of a licensed mental health professional is vital. A good therapist can help you uncover the root causes of your low self-esteem. Perhaps even more importantly, they can help you come up with a plan to cope and heal.
6) Surround Yourself with Positive People
Going through the process of understanding your sentiments of self-loathing may make you perceive how certain individuals in your life have added to your negative contemplations. This might be an awkward acknowledgment, but the silver lining is that you have a choice in the matter. You can decide to encircle yourself with individuals who lift you up, esteem you, and motivate you to be your best self. Having these individuals in your life — and figuring out how to be that kind of individual for others — can battle the the negativity, and allow you to lead to a full, happy life.