We all know that pardoning is a good thing, right? It liberates us from bitterness and anger, two feelings that don’t feel better and can likewise disturb our physical well-being and keep us away from all the great we may accomplish and experience.
Must Read: Failures Behind Many Greats
I know many of you have worked on forgiving others. But what about forgiving ourselves? There are memories that we will always be unable to forgive, there are scars that we probably won’t have the option to eradicate. When we consider our past, we some of the time feel embarrassed, humiliated… what’s more, it’s difficult to give up and excuse ourselves.
No doubt, failure is a part of life. It’s inescapable, but failure is only a loss if you don’t learn anything from it. Success stories made it clear that successful human beings have fallen in their lives—some more severely than others.
However, those who, Instead of seeing a failure as an insurmountable setback, make it to the pinnacle only do so by dusting themselves off, achieved their dreams and utilizes their learning from failures.
Have you ever try to analyses the word ‘regret’? According to my opinion, just few people thought about it. It’s a feeling of heaviness deep within you. You try to ignore it, but you can’t. Dread and discouragement gradually seep into your thoughts. Sadness and guilt soon follow, until you are completely defeated.
People who didn’t come out of their past failures and regrets, they feel lost and alone and they want to give up. Ithey want to fall on their beds and bury their faces in a pillow. But that doesn’t work, because the sinking feeling just follows them to sleep. Failure is terribly painful on so many levels.
But you should in mind that you are so worth it. Don’t let your past mistakes define your future.
Forgiveness is definitely a process. You will find it a hard way by holding onto mistakes and destructive behaviors for years. The longer you held onto them, the greater the burden they became.
If you are making efforts, to forgive your own past failures, I assure you that you can do it because everyone can do this although the process will be different for us all.
For quite a long time, I held on to bitterness and anger, which had developed throughout the years towards cozy connections and just by forgiving myself I was ready to experience such incredible freedom from these burdens. I would love for you to let go of the burden you might be carrying around so you can learn how to forgive yourself and start to experience some freedom in your life.
I have a few suggestions that helped me to forgive myself even in my darkest moments:
1) Use Your Failures to Succeed
Most people don’t reach their dream, not because of failures, most people don’t live their dreams because they give up. You see it’s not the failure that stop us, but that most stop at their first failure. Those who succeed don’t stop at one failure. They don’t stop at ten failures. They stop at one hundred, thousand or a million. They say, ‘this is my goal and I will do whatever it takes to achieve it”. I will learn the lessons from failures.
Failures makes winners stronger and even more confident. But same failures makes most feel worthless. Winners don’t enjoy failures, but they would never let failure stop them. Next time you encounter failure. You’ve got to remember every great thing on this plant because the creator learned what did work, but learn from what did not work. When we are kids we don’t stop at failures.
For instance, when you learn to ride a bike, its failure after failure. We get knocked down time after time. But we get up and push forward, until we achieve our goal of riding bike. But if such type of situation happen with us, when we entered in adulthood, we come up with excuse like, ‘it must not be for me’ etc. you should tell yourself the truth, try again, work harder and smarter. Look back for motivation to get it right next time.
2) Track Your Progress and Accomplishments
Track your small wins to motivate big accomplishments. You should engage yourself in habit of celebrating the small steps and the initial steps towards achieving your goals.
Do you ever celebrate your success, your wins and accomplishments, no matter how small they are, but unfortunately, most of us don’t and fortunately, most of us spend more of time taking worrying and beating ourselves up for what we haven’t achieved for, what we haven’t accomplished. If you will start celebrating your wins, then memories of success will take over of failures.
3) Mourn, Then Move On
For example, have you failed as an entrepreneur many times? You may found that being open about your failures with family and friends helps lift the burden and breathe new life into you. Ultimately, you have to make a decision to let it go and stay focused on the present and future. It just takes some time to process failure…kind of like the stages of grief. Mourn the failure, then move on.
4) Don’t dwell on past failures
Dwelling on past failures beyond the essential learning is a pure and simple waste of time. That is not the way to create success. Of course, we want to learn and change our behavior—after all, they say an apology without change is simply manipulation.
5) Shift Your Mindset to Gratitude
Are you in denial about where you are in your career versus where you want to be? It’s important to stay honest with yourself because that’s the only way you’ll be able to move forward to better things. To move forward after a difficult failure, shift your mindset to one of gratitude.
Before you close your eyes at bedtime, reflect over the day and remind yourself of all the things you have been able to do and how you made a difference, however small — the smile you gave to a stranger and many other doings.
Forgiveness is the very best tool that allows us to face what we have done in the past, acknowledge our mistakes, learn from them, leave them behind, and move on. You are so worth it. Don’t let your past mistakes define your future. Forgiveness is not a destination. Do it regularly.